Stone Lantern

I am a fan of the They Fight Crime! story idea generator. Here is one that seemed so odd that I just had to do a story for it. Go check out the They Fight Crime! story idea generator and create your own. You can also suggest some new words to be added to it.

Adolpho the Monkey-boy

Adolpho sat in his cage, lazily strumming a quiet tune on his guitar. Occasionally he would stop to scratch at his furry, monkey-like chin or to push one toe against the wall to set his cage gently swinging on it’s chain.

A muffled ruckus started up outside the room. The sound of guards voices calling instructions to each other could faintly be heard through the thick doors. Suddenly, the doors burst open and the sound of swordplay, gunfire and screaming exploded into the room.

Adolpho straightened the collar on his clean work shirt and then continued to strum his guitar.

So cute!

A guard in light plate mail came sailing through the door as if he had been thrown. He crashed to the ground in a cacophany of metal on stone. A tall, dark haired woman wearing plastic wings ran through the door after him, carrying a second guard dressed in plate. This guard was trying, unsuccessfully to fight her off. She easily held him in place with just one arm.

The first guard got to his feet and charged her. With inhuman speed the dark haired woman in the cheap, plastic wings kicked him square in the jaw and sent him to the floor once more, this time for good.

She brought her full attention on the guard in her hand. He panicked and began screaming in terror. She slowly brought his face close to hers, then pushed his head aside and sank her teeth into his neck. She tore out a large chunk of flesh and began lapping at the blood that spurted from the wound. The sound was disgusting and disturbing.

When she was done, she dropped the guard and then looked around the room. As soon as she saw Adolpho she bared her teeth at him and hissed. Adolpho noticed that while she should have been covered in blood, her hands, clothes and face had no stains at all.

“Who are you?” she hissed.

“I’m Adolpho.”

She glanced at the cage and then up the long chain that anchored the cage to the roof. She began to circle the cage and Adolpho continued to swing slowly.

“What are you doing in there?”

“Ahh. The question. I do love that question. I suppose the standard answer is, it is not what am I doing in here, but what are you doing out there?” replied the short monkey-like man as he continued to strum on his guitar.

“I’ve come to kill Mortagar.”

Adolpho considered this for a moment. “Why?”

“I’m a fairy” was her answer.

“With teeth like that?”

“I’m a tooth fairy, then. But, I’m going to kill Mortagar for what he’s done to my people and I’ll kill anyone who gets in my way. Do you work for him?”

Adolpho stopped strumming and mild surprise showed on his face. “What person would ever answer yes to that statement? Clearly, if I answer yes, you’ll kill me. Knowing I know that, though, you will also just assume I’m lying if I say no. In fact, either answer is sure to get me killed.” He sat up and chuckled at her.

“What is your answer?”

“Well, I suppose my answer is a question to you. If I am working for Mortagar, what do you think I am doing in this cage - cleaning it?”

“Why are you in that cage? Answer me this time! Answer me truthfully or I will know it.” With that, her eyes began to glow a deep red.

“I am contemplating the end of Mortgar’s life. I am sitting in this cage thinking of all the ways that Mortagar could meet his end and all of the ways to make that happen. I am thinking of all of the people who would say Mortagar is an evil blight and of all of the people who would say he was a hero and that those who would try to kill him are the evil ones. I am thinking of all the ways Mortagar might escape his fate and of all the ways that escape might be prevented.”

“Aha! You think you’re so smart and yet you got caught and stuck in a cage while I am still free to accomplish my goal.” She beamed up at him with a huge smile on her face.

“You’re not really a fairy, you know. Those wings are plastic.”

The vampire’s mood darkened immediately.

“And what’s more,” continued Adolpho “Is that, despite my being in the cage and your being free, you still cannot accomplish your mission. Mortagar is way too clever for you. He’s too clever for me, as well for that matter.”

She scowled and looked about the room again. “Well, if we work together to kill him, could we succeed?”

Adolpho clapped his hands together. “Yes! We could definitely succeed. There is no possible way Mortagar could escape with his life if both of us worked together to kill him.”

The vampire leapt up and grabbed onto the side of the cage. She used one arm to hold herself in place while her other hand grabbed the large, heavy padlock that held the door shut.

Adolpho smashed his guitar over her head, shattering it. He then thrust the jagged neck of the guitar into the vampire’s chest. She screamed as she fell to the floor, but turned to ash before she touched it.

Adolpho straightened his shirt and expensive, tailor made slacks before sitting back down. He pulled a small flute from his pocket.

“We could succeed together assuming I want to kill Mortagar and haven’t been hired by him to think up all the ways he could be killed and all the ways to prevent it.”

The little monkey-boy pushed against the wall with one toe to set the cage slowly swinging again and began to quietly play his flute.